The Kronikle, Vol. 3, Issue 5: Sex Worker McDonald's, Robitussin Stories, and Overuse Injuries
Greetings from a Sinner in the Hand of an Angry God!
Today we find our illustrious expositor in good spirits (I should watch my phrasing--I wouldn't want anyone accusing me of consorting with demons and trying me for witchcraft)!
EVEN THOUGH A TRAGEDY OCCURED AT MY TABLE TODAY! After grading 1.2 billion essays (since he has the time, he's been
getting a head start on the English Lit reading that starts next week) Archnemesis suffered a tragic finger injury that required a band aid. Clearly, he will have to revisit his off-season conditioning schedule, so we don't have a repeat of this lamentable event next year.
In other news...
Last night, I painted my nails black in honor of the Puritans and watched a Master P movie on BET. Can anybody
say "UHNNN!!!"?
Speaking of which, I managed to leave most of my music on a drive that is not my MP3 player. This is the longest I have ever gone without listening to OutKast. Yuck.
This morning we started the puritan question in full.
My thoughts:
abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, beastly, cruel,
detestable, disagreeable, disgusting, dreadful, eerie,
execrable, fairy, fearful, frightful, ghastly, grim, grisly,
gruesome, heinous, hideous, horrendous, horrid, loathsome,
lousy, lurid (not in a good way), mean, nasty (not in a good
way), obnoxious, offensive (not in a good way), repellent,
repulsive, revolting, scandalous (not in a good way), scary,
shameful (not in a good way), shocking (not in a good way),
sickie, terrible, terrifying, ungodly (not in a good way),
unholy (not in a good way), unkind
Questions are good, documents are good, student efforts are commendable but I have clearly pissed off some very
important deity.
LUNCH SUCKED! A LOT! So much it made me angry.
My horizontally gifted seatmate kept me laughing during the approved 15 minute and 2 minute breaks we get throughout the day. Also uttered my favorite sentence of probably my whole
life. I will share it with you now.
"I got so excited about the Robitussin story that I forgot the other one."
Elegant...profound...familiar. It was a good story, too. My roomie is going to start a civil rights movement for AP readers. We can only go through certain designated exits. She tried to go through one of the exits not designated for our use. She got run down by the fuzz. I waited for her to start yelling, standing on a chair, "I have a dream that my two little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their nerd tag but by the content of their character!" Apparently, she was close to just stringing together obscenties. I'm cool either way.
We actually hung out. It was laundry day. Last year's laundry day was full of hijinks and kool aid smiles and 5
mile hikes. This year's went more smoothly. She had to get gas and there were no gas stations anywhere. I think we
ended up in Ohio. But we finally found one. Then we hit the Laundry and Tan Connection, threw in our load, and headed to the McDonald's I remember from the last year as having had the largest homeless clientele of any McDonald's ever along with a coupla hookers and their pimp out in the parking lot
(seems like I would try to go to a classier McD's to ho, but I guess that's why I'm not a pimp).
Then I picked up fresh, clean clothes.
The End.
Carrie the Red (Stripe)
Today we find our illustrious expositor in good spirits (I should watch my phrasing--I wouldn't want anyone accusing me of consorting with demons and trying me for witchcraft)!
EVEN THOUGH A TRAGEDY OCCURED AT MY TABLE TODAY! After grading 1.2 billion essays (since he has the time, he's been
getting a head start on the English Lit reading that starts next week) Archnemesis suffered a tragic finger injury that required a band aid. Clearly, he will have to revisit his off-season conditioning schedule, so we don't have a repeat of this lamentable event next year.
In other news...
Last night, I painted my nails black in honor of the Puritans and watched a Master P movie on BET. Can anybody
say "UHNNN!!!"?
Speaking of which, I managed to leave most of my music on a drive that is not my MP3 player. This is the longest I have ever gone without listening to OutKast. Yuck.
This morning we started the puritan question in full.
My thoughts:
abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, beastly, cruel,
detestable, disagreeable, disgusting, dreadful, eerie,
execrable, fairy, fearful, frightful, ghastly, grim, grisly,
gruesome, heinous, hideous, horrendous, horrid, loathsome,
lousy, lurid (not in a good way), mean, nasty (not in a good
way), obnoxious, offensive (not in a good way), repellent,
repulsive, revolting, scandalous (not in a good way), scary,
shameful (not in a good way), shocking (not in a good way),
sickie, terrible, terrifying, ungodly (not in a good way),
unholy (not in a good way), unkind
Questions are good, documents are good, student efforts are commendable but I have clearly pissed off some very
important deity.
LUNCH SUCKED! A LOT! So much it made me angry.
My horizontally gifted seatmate kept me laughing during the approved 15 minute and 2 minute breaks we get throughout the day. Also uttered my favorite sentence of probably my whole
life. I will share it with you now.
"I got so excited about the Robitussin story that I forgot the other one."
Elegant...profound...familiar. It was a good story, too. My roomie is going to start a civil rights movement for AP readers. We can only go through certain designated exits. She tried to go through one of the exits not designated for our use. She got run down by the fuzz. I waited for her to start yelling, standing on a chair, "I have a dream that my two little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their nerd tag but by the content of their character!" Apparently, she was close to just stringing together obscenties. I'm cool either way.
We actually hung out. It was laundry day. Last year's laundry day was full of hijinks and kool aid smiles and 5
mile hikes. This year's went more smoothly. She had to get gas and there were no gas stations anywhere. I think we
ended up in Ohio. But we finally found one. Then we hit the Laundry and Tan Connection, threw in our load, and headed to the McDonald's I remember from the last year as having had the largest homeless clientele of any McDonald's ever along with a coupla hookers and their pimp out in the parking lot
(seems like I would try to go to a classier McD's to ho, but I guess that's why I'm not a pimp).
Then I picked up fresh, clean clothes.
The End.
Carrie the Red (Stripe)